I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
