3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
