My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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