Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
