We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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