My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
