Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He better not be in your backpack
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
