I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
