just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
