dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I supernannyed him into submission
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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