Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
