Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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