is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
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