I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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