After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
