its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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