Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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