Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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