So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
