i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
