hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
