I hope mine doesn't look like that
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
