When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
