dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
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Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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