a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
