You're a womanizer and a bitch.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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