Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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