dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
