Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize