I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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