member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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