me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
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i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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