I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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