I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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