his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just got carded by a ten year old.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
