I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
