It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
