I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
