Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
