Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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