I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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