dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
