You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
