did you get engaged???
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
