is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I need a burrito and a hug.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
