i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just had sex on a roof
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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