So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
