He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
