dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
