Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
