We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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