I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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