Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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