3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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