why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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