Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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