...so i touched it.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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