We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
of course. lets lasso hookers.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
