it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
