We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
