That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize