I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
