i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
