Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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