She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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