now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
