What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
