did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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