When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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