they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
