Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize