I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
